Best Humor |
I went to the cinema, and the prices were:
Adults $5.00, children $2.50. So I said, 'Give me two boys and a
girl'. What's another word for Thesaurus? If all the nations in the world are in debt, where did all the money go? One time I went to a drive-in in a taxi cab. The movie cost me $95. I've never seen electricity, so I don't pay for it. I write right on the bill, 'I'm sorry, I haven't seen it all month.' Why is it, 'A penny for your thoughts,' but, you have to 'put your two cents' in? Somebody's making a penny. When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, ‘Did you sleep well?' I said, 'No, I made a few mistakes.' If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they all still working? Isn't the best way to save face to keep the lower part shut? War doesn't determine who's right, just who's left. I intend to live forever - so far, so good. Join the Army, meet interesting people, kill them. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines. Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire. When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded. Boycott shampoo! Demand the REAL poo! Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk? What happens if you get scared half to death twice? |